Its not over till Fat Al Eats

You heard it here first. Pamplona is a wonderful place to watch the tartan army coming round the hill. There are no words to describe the elation I felt when I woke Simon to tell him we’d scored, oh and the small matter of a quid or two on Scotland at half time – using the hotel’s internet cafe!

Did I tell you about the hotel. It got better all night until about 3am. We decided to reinact Blazing Saddles famous beanscene and we’re not talking about the coffee house.

I let off quietly – as I’m now disposed to do – what we would normally say didn’t register on either noise or smelly richter scales. Simon retorted immediately – as if a human condition brought on through sharing dorms had taught him he could only fart when farted at – with a noise and venom that shook the fifth floor and had the aalarms going in the hotel.

Needless to say the lifts don’t work or are busy as we were evacuated. Don’t know why I used the royal we there, anyway, Lord Simon was duly grassed to the hospitalero as the man whose actions speak, sound and smell louder than words.

All f which meant that at 7am breakfast was a remarkably solitary activity. Our table was in the middle of the foyer – we know not why – but it was handy for a quick exit – except the joker forgot his stick and had to run up 5 flights of stairs to get it.

I meanwhile, had to contend with a busload of Spanish tourist asking me about the camino – I think.

I replied ” mucho gracias, bueno camino, mi amigo est tardes – no it was tarmacadam – por favor, ole!” and they duly put 1 euro in my hat – which I duly left full of coins when si returned clutching his stick and out we stroded or is that strideded or just walked.

I wore my trainers for a change – stupid that as my bag weighed more. We had 4kg of water and boots on top of the piece of string, which he still hadn’t cut so he could take his share.

I asked him to buy a screwdriver so he could unscrew the scissors and then he could carry half the pair – or one scissor. I did realise after to balance up the screwdriver – we’d need another, o well.

Physically fit as you like. I now run down hills – no pressure on the knees at all. When I say run down – I jest – I don’t do run – I run on spot and gravity takes me downhill.

Peunte la Reina is braw. The auberge is superb – it has an outdoor 20m pool into which I had dived before touching the water. Aha ha ha – it was cold – I did 8 lengths in 2 mins I was out – phew!

Usual grub – 47 courses two shekkels. A strange one on the beer and the wine. You order beer it comes in a tin with a wee wine glass – you order wine it comes in an old fashioned pint mug – the type with the handle and the dimples that Tartan Special made famous.

Well Marienne fae strasborg was making it famous tonight. She rose – or was it – rosy’d to her feet very slowly at the end of the meal.

Having said that she had been sitting opposite the new fangled Al eats slowly and properly and took 42 minutes tonight to eat one scoop of ice cream!.